


Armin's Funeral

by Harukiswife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, I cried while writing this, Jearmin - Freeform, M/M, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Love, What-If, i wrote this to prove a point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29744361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukiswife/pseuds/Harukiswife
Summary: "Ar...min" he whispered. Armin's body was right in front of him, but he refused to believe it. The commander's body wasn't too far from his, but what he had picked up, he was still alive.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	Armin's Funeral

They had to make a decision. They only had so much time. Jean could only stare in shock while the others argued. He couldn't hear them clearly, it was more like background noise to him.

"Ar... min" he whispered. Armin's body was right in front of him, but he refused to believe it. The commander's body wasn't too far from his, but what he had picked up, he was still alive.

Though the same couldn't be said for Armin. How did this happen? He promised... he promised to stay alive. "I didn't even get to say goodbye..."

"Now get out of here! I don't want Erwin eating any of you instead!" Jean came back to his senses. Erwin eating- The serum? It seemed they had made up their mind... to save Erwin instead.

Jean looked at his friends, Mikasa and Eren were in shambles. Sasha and Connie looked just as shocked as he did. Hange was forcing Mikasa, Floch and Eren away, it was for the best they did that. They all knew if Hange hadn't, there'd be a second fight.

"Jean?" Connie was carrying Sasha on his back, she was still alive. He could still use his ODM gear with her on his back, thankfully. "You okay?" Connie could tell something was up.

"I could ask you the same thing." Jean would rather die than try and explain what he was feeling right now. He wasn't as distraught as Mikasa or Eren, no that wasn't it.

It was deeper than that, deeper than the platonic love Eren, Mikasa and Armin had. Jean already knew he was in love with Armin, ever since he saved him. "I never got to return the favour..." 

The eight of them were hiding on a rooftop. Jean could hear Eren and Mikasa's sobs behind him. Jean could only stare, stare as his commander ate Bertholdt.

It's not like he wanted the Commander to die it's just- "Jean! We have to go help Erwin." Levi shouted before going down to help him. 

* * *

Armin didn't have any family, so at least they didn't have to break the news to them. It still hadn't set in for Jean, he still didn't believe Armin was gone, forever. He hadn't left his room since they had gotten back.

"Jean?" Jean snapped his head to look at the door, Hange was standing in the doorway.

"Oh, hey." He looked back down.

"I just thought I should tell you..." Hange sat on the edge of his bed. "Armin's funeral is tomorrow" Jean closed his eyes and hugged his knees.

"I'll leave you alone. Let us know if you need anything" Hange stood up and left. 

Jean cried into his knees. He couldn't even make out Armin's face when he saw him. He could never see his face again. Of course, there were drawings but they'd never compare to the real thing. 

He'd never get to see Armin in the sun. He'd never be able to run his hand through his hair again. He'd never be able to tell him he... that he loves him.

"Why does this keep happening to me..."

* * *

Armin's funeral was short. They didn't let the public know about it, they wanted to make his real funeral just close friends. 

"Hey." Jean was sitting away from Armin's body, he couldn't bear looking at him. Eren sat next to him. It was strange, Armin always sat between them. Probably to stop the from fighting though.

"How are you holding up?" This was probably the first time they talked where they weren't yelling or insulting each other. If only it had happened under different circumstances. 

"I'm... I don't know." Eren took a deep breath, he'd definitely been crying, "I never thought Armin would be gone so soon. I guess I never realised how easy it is to lose somebody."

"You know what that's like, don't you? What it feels like losing someone you care about?" Eren looked at Jean teary-eyed. He could only look back with his mouth open from shock.

Jean nodded. "Mhm. But it's different with Armin because..." Jean didn't finish his sentence. "There something I need to do. One second Eren." Jean stood up and walked over to Armin's body. 

As expected, Jean couldn't make out a single feature of Armin's face. "Min..." He looked inside his casket, considering he'd been burnt to a crisp, it was pretty stupid to have an open casket but it gave Jean a strange comfort.

Armin and Jean had promised each other to stay alive. Jean wanted to hold up his end of the deal, he knew Armin would've wanted him to.

"You always wanted to see the ocean, didn't you?" Jean paused as if he was waiting for an answer, "we'll go one day. And I'll see it for you. I promise."

"Maybe when I see the sea, it'll be as blue as your eyes were."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to prove to my friend that writing angst is easy, but I rushed it a bit so I hope it came out okay <3


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